Ms. Prudish Diva and the Freckler

As of late, I’ve been deciding when I first start talking to people if it’s going anywhere.. but since I be bored… I’ll talk to them anyway… Everybody’s always like “give them a chance”… but I know me and I know when it ain’t gon work…

So around this time last year I went out to eat with some of the Diva Squad for one of our other friend’s birthday, Ms. Ghetto. Now Ms. Ghetto really ain’t that ghetto… we just grew up in the same hood in Baltimore.. went to the same elementary school (hated each other back then) and then ended up going to the same high school in the burbs. It was Ms. Ghetto’s birthday, so me, Bratty Diva, Squeaky Diva, and this other girl went to celebrate Ms. Ghetto’s birthday at a local fish restaurant/bar. So we’re in line waiting to be seated and somebody taps me on my shoulder. So I turn around and there is this guy standing there.. with this SMEDIUM ass old ’02 or ’03 high school shirt on (mind u its 2006). He wasn’t even that cute either.. he was alright he was real pale with a face full of freckles (hence the reason I shall call him Freckler). So I’m just standing there with this dumb look on my face as in.. I can’t believe u would talk to me with this old ass.. smedium ass.. tshirt on.. and then the rest of the girls stopped the chatter and looked at me waiting for the entertainment... cuz I tend to hoe people.

Freckler: Hi can I talk to you for a second.
Me: (with an attitude) About..
Freckler: Well.. I just noticed that you were really beautiful and I was wondering if I could take you out sometime.
I looked behind him and his boys were watching… all the girls were watching.. hell even the other people waiting and the hostess were watching…
Me: If I’m really beautiful what in the hell would make u think that I would want to talk to someone who wasn’t equally beautiful.. even if u wasn’t that cute u could have not come outside with that old ass tshirt on.. (in the driest tone) Really.
Freckler: Yeah I mean.. I would like to get to know you… What’s your name?
Me: Ms. Prudish Diva
Freckler: Well Ms. Prudish Diva can I call you sometime
*awkward silence*
Me: … yeah..
Freckler: Am I bothering you?
Me: HELL YES! Doesn’t my facial expression look like I’m in pain… but alas.. Ms. Prudish Diva could not be a bitch in front of all these people. No… I just had a bad day *forced fake smile*
Freckler: Well maybe tomorrow I can help make your day a little better.
Then he smiles and pinches my cheek… I could have broken his pale ass finger.. but I didn’t say anything. He walked away and the Diva Squad was silent until we got to our table… cuz of course they knew I was irritated.

Bratty Diva: Well… at least he was nice.
Squeaky Diva: What the fuck is up with them freckles?
Ms. Ghetto: How about that little ass, old ass, bold ass shirt!
Squeaky Diva: I wouldn’t fuck with him
Ms. Prudish Diva: Well if everybody wasn’t watching I woulda hoed him but I couldn’t do that..
Bratty Diva: Well he’ll probably take you out.

Needless to say… he didn’t call but… I did see him again at the mall in like November of ’06. I was in a shoe store with Baby Glamazon, and I felt like somebody was watching me so I look up and outside the shoe store there was the Freckler staring me down. I quickly look away. 3 minutes later I turn around and he got his freckle-faced ass all up in my personal space.

Freckler: Hi, how you doing?
Me: Fine.
Freckler: What’s your name?
Me: Think fast Ms. Prudish Diva.. He don’t remember you! Tweety.
Freckler: Tweety, how did you get that name?
Me: Cuz I’m yellow
Freckler: Oh. Well nice to meet you, I was wondering if I could have your number, maybe we could go out sometime.
Me: *blank stare* This dude seriously don’t remember me. I have a boyfriend.
Freckler: Ok.
Me: Ok. So why are you still standing here in my face??
Freckler: I mean you can’t have friends?
Me: I don’t need friends.
Freckler: I’m not trying to take you from your man, I just want to be your friend.
Me: Do I look like I want to be your friend? Is that what you’re getting from my facial expression? Well, my boyfriend is very jealous, and I think he would try to kill you for trying to be my friend, and we wouldn’t want that *smile*
Freckler: Well.. alright, you have a good night. It was nice to meet you though.
Me: Mmhmm

So.. I would have thought that was my last time seeing him. But NO…6-7 months later.. I went to the club 2 weeks ago with Big Mama Diva.. I’m chilling in the VIP and somebody walks up and whispers in my ear:

Somebody: Let me get them jeans up off you
I turn around with the quickness and see that it’s Freckler…
Me: What?
Freckler: Can I buy your jeans?
Me: Why?
Freckler: Because they are nice jeans
Me: Well I know that.. That’s kinda why I put them on (The jeans were fly tho… They have these nice beaded pockets.. make my butt and hips look real nice lol)
Freckler: How much you want for them?
Me: Probably too much for you to pay on some girl jeans.
Freckler: I mean I got money (pulls out a wad of cash). How much you want for them?
Me: Well, it’s nice that you have money. You can go to the store and get you own women’s jeans if your into that. I’d rather keep my jeans on though.
Freckler: Is your girl pregnant? *Nods toward Big Mama Diva*
I just burst out laughing.. Now normally… I wouldn’t go for u talking about my girl.. best friend… but that shit was funny.. she looked cute but she do got a gut.. it’s not the most attractive thing.. I’m bigger than she is but her gut is bigger than mine…
Me: You wrong.
Freckler: She’t not pregnant? Because I was going to say ya’ll could stand over there… Not too many people smoke over there.
Me: Yeah right.
Freckler: So can I have your number.
Me: You should already have it.
Freckler: Why?
Me: Because I’ve given it to you before… You’ve tried to talk to me quite a few times.
Freckler: Well I don’t remember.. so I’m trying to talk to you again
So I decided to give it to him.. I mean.. He was dressed nice and he could take me out.. I guess. He made me laugh.. that's good right? He's persistant as hell 2.. He called me a couple days later… trying to see me and I was out of town, so I told him I would call him when I got home.. but I didn’t… then I was in DC at a friend’s house and he’s like “Well I could drive out there to see u”… Nigga if I’m chillin with the friends I dont wanna see u.. and if he cant see me it’ll be “Alright then I’ll talk to you later.”

So he gets the axe because he can’t even have a conversation with me… It’s just “Can I see you? No? Ok then.” WTF is that? We’ll see how he story progresses.. I’ll keep you all posted.

How I went from Diva to Ms. Prudish Diva

I grew up the love of the family. I was such a beautiful, smart, shy chunky lil kid (still am a shy, smart, thick beauty by the way). Back in the day, I was about 14, my grandma noticed that I was getting noticed. I was always around my male cousins who were always around their friends and she couldn’t have me getting pregnant. My grandma had 3 girls and 3 boys and 2 girls had kids at 15 (my mom) and the other at 16 2 boys had kids at 15 and 16 too. I made a promise to my grandma that I would stay a virgin until I was 18. My grandma died a couple months later so I decided to keep that promise. I decided early on that it would be impossible for me to keep that promise and still try to have my lil boyfriends so I focused on school and trying to get out of the hood… cuz the hood in Baltimore ain’t nothin to mess with..

But when I turned 18.. please.. I was ready to jump on the first non-kin penis available… at least that’s what I thought until I actually turned 18 and started dating … then I realized I didn’t want to just give my virginity up until anybody.. and what would people think? Me... going from the innocent, quiet, college-bound girl to the neighborhood jump-off? Not a good look.. not a way I wanted to be.. I mean.. what would Jesus think? Right? So I talked to guys… I had dropped 30 pounds and I realized I had what guys wanted… T&A… lots of it.. I mean.. I always knew shawty had an ass on her but I never thought my chest was that big… Everybody in my family was a part of the SBTC.. super big ttity committee.. smallest (excluding me) was a DD so I never knew my D’s were something to rave about.. but hey.. they are I guess.. lol… but anyway, I digress.. I wasn’t focusing on a boyfriend.. I was focusing on having as many dudes on the team as possible.. 3 months after I turned 18 and got off into the dating game.. I had at the very least 5 on the team at all times.. Everybody was tryna lock down Ms. Prudish Diva but she wasn’t having it… because she was having fun.. and being a diva..

Another thing that made me the way I am today is because I grew up around a lot of males. All of my uncles have been living with my mama since I can remember, one of them still does actually. They were (and still are), for lack of a better word, womanizers. They had the main chick, but a different chick over every night. My older brother consistently keeps 3 girlfriends at a time and my younger is running thangs in high school with a couple on his team. My cousins… they all keep at least 5 chicks on the team at all times. I never wanted to be those girls. Committed to this dude who will never be committed to me... I know the games that guys play cuz I watch it all the time... So it leaves me having trust issues with guys.. cuz as much as I try to believe that there are some good black men out there.. niggas negate my thinking.

Another thing is... I have always taken measures to not look like a hoodrat. I don't wear colored hair. I don't wear a lot of styles. I wore braids most of my life and now my hair is down to my bra strap and I press it out and flat-iron it or curl it. I try not to be too revealing. If I have on shorts with my legs out, no cleavage or back will be shown and vice versa. I guess that helped.

Now... just because I am a prude... dont mean i just sit in my house all day.. I love to go out and have fun... club, movies, dancing, galleries, hanging with friends, etc.

Ms. Prudish Diva and her squad

Hey there Blogosphere,

I would like to introduce myself, my name is Ms. Prudish Diva. I am a 20-year-old prude on the quest for a man. This blog will chronicle my past and present encounters with these young negro men out here and how I deal with them. In all my 20 years I have never had a real boyfriend.. I’ve had boyfriends… plenty of them but.. I have never taken any of them seriously (Problem #1). She never had a problem being single before but now she is ready.

Being labeled as a prude was not a self-proclamation, my family and friends gave me this title. Although in my mind… I’m a freak.. I’m just working on releasing it.. lol..
A prude is defined as “One who is excessively concerned with being or appearing to be proper, modest, or righteous. Keyword ladies and gentleman… APPEAR. Apparently I have a problem with what people think of me (especially my moms… Problem #2), because if I can get away with something and I think nobody will find out.. which really is never because I always have a fear that someone will find out. Yes, Ms. Prudish Diva knows she shouldn’t care about what people think but she can’t help it. She’s a work in progress. Ms. Prudish Diva hopes she will entertain you as she records her wrongs to meet Mr. Right.

There will be key players in my stories.. so just so you all will not be confused I'll introduce you to the Diva Squad which was started in '04:

Ms. Prudish Diva (me/original diva)- Ms. Prudish Diva is the glue of the squad. She is the one who relays the messages to everyone and who was friends with all the divas before they became the Diva Squad. She has the attitude and don't take no shit. She has a communication problem, being that she don't communicate... she don't like to call these boys at all... only if she's infatuated. Ms. Prudish Diva is vain... She likes them tall, carmel, and slim. She likes fine chocolate in all heights. She's not really into big dudes (as in them with the guts) because she is thick and her philosophy is if she big and he big then they can't do nothing but be big together. But a cute face and personality goes a long way so there are exceptions to every rule...

Bratty Diva(original diva)- Bratty Diva is the pimp. She and Prudish Diva are best friends and are the closest of all the divas... although she claims Big Mama Diva to be her best friend too... but they really aren't that tight. Bratty Diva is known for her pimpin ways. She's always keeps dudes on the team boyfriend or not.. although she just got caught up and is trying to change her ways. She likes them tall light-skinned slim boys but always ends up with an average height carmel ones.

Big Mama Diva (original diva)- Big Mama Diva gets the name cuz she acts and has an older woman's body.. She and Ms. Prudish Diva are best friends and she is closer to her than anyone. Big Mama Diva is not big.. she's only 5'1 but she got a big mouth. She acts like a mama and keeps a stable of dudes.. she is always pursuing them... Calling them constantly checking in (like somebody's mama).. she likes tall boys with pretty hair.. but will pretty much talk to anybody that will take her out... Some have called her a gold digger... Now I ain't saying she a gold digger but she aint fuckin with no broke niggas...

Tiny Diva (original diva)- no longer hangs with the Diva Squad but she's a key player early on.. She stopped hangin with the Diva Squad because she and Bratty Diva fell out over Tiny Diva getting a boyfriend and neglecting the Diva squad. She and Ms. Prudish Diva are still real tight and they had been best friends since 6th grade. Ms. Prudish Diva don't really like to hang with the Tiny Diva though because the Tiny Diva's friends are weak dramaful hoes... and Ms. Prudish Diva don't like that. Tiny Diva likes smaller guys (around 5'8) because she's tiny.

Squeaky Diva (joined diva)- The Squeaky Diva joined the squad in early '06. Squeaky Diva has a squeaky voice.. hence the name. She has always had a boyfriend... and has cheated since she found out 6 months into her relationship that he cheated... To her boyfriend=sex partner so she pretty much cheats on every boyfriend becuz thats the way she do.. She calls Ms. Prudish Diva her best friend too (Ms. Prudish Diva is popular out here)

Model Diva (joined diva)- Model Diva no longer hangs with the Diva Squad either... She was brought in by Big Mama Diva in the summer of '05 and left in the summer of '05 because her and Big Mama Diva fell out. Model Diva is cool with the rest of the Diva Squad to this day and she is a key player in some stories too.