Ms. Prudish Diva and the Freckler

As of late, I’ve been deciding when I first start talking to people if it’s going anywhere.. but since I be bored… I’ll talk to them anyway… Everybody’s always like “give them a chance”… but I know me and I know when it ain’t gon work…

So around this time last year I went out to eat with some of the Diva Squad for one of our other friend’s birthday, Ms. Ghetto. Now Ms. Ghetto really ain’t that ghetto… we just grew up in the same hood in Baltimore.. went to the same elementary school (hated each other back then) and then ended up going to the same high school in the burbs. It was Ms. Ghetto’s birthday, so me, Bratty Diva, Squeaky Diva, and this other girl went to celebrate Ms. Ghetto’s birthday at a local fish restaurant/bar. So we’re in line waiting to be seated and somebody taps me on my shoulder. So I turn around and there is this guy standing there.. with this SMEDIUM ass old ’02 or ’03 high school shirt on (mind u its 2006). He wasn’t even that cute either.. he was alright he was real pale with a face full of freckles (hence the reason I shall call him Freckler). So I’m just standing there with this dumb look on my face as in.. I can’t believe u would talk to me with this old ass.. smedium ass.. tshirt on.. and then the rest of the girls stopped the chatter and looked at me waiting for the entertainment... cuz I tend to hoe people.

Freckler: Hi can I talk to you for a second.
Me: (with an attitude) About..
Freckler: Well.. I just noticed that you were really beautiful and I was wondering if I could take you out sometime.
I looked behind him and his boys were watching… all the girls were watching.. hell even the other people waiting and the hostess were watching…
Me: If I’m really beautiful what in the hell would make u think that I would want to talk to someone who wasn’t equally beautiful.. even if u wasn’t that cute u could have not come outside with that old ass tshirt on.. (in the driest tone) Really.
Freckler: Yeah I mean.. I would like to get to know you… What’s your name?
Me: Ms. Prudish Diva
Freckler: Well Ms. Prudish Diva can I call you sometime
*awkward silence*
Me: … yeah..
Freckler: Am I bothering you?
Me: HELL YES! Doesn’t my facial expression look like I’m in pain… but alas.. Ms. Prudish Diva could not be a bitch in front of all these people. No… I just had a bad day *forced fake smile*
Freckler: Well maybe tomorrow I can help make your day a little better.
Then he smiles and pinches my cheek… I could have broken his pale ass finger.. but I didn’t say anything. He walked away and the Diva Squad was silent until we got to our table… cuz of course they knew I was irritated.

Bratty Diva: Well… at least he was nice.
Squeaky Diva: What the fuck is up with them freckles?
Ms. Ghetto: How about that little ass, old ass, bold ass shirt!
Squeaky Diva: I wouldn’t fuck with him
Ms. Prudish Diva: Well if everybody wasn’t watching I woulda hoed him but I couldn’t do that..
Bratty Diva: Well he’ll probably take you out.

Needless to say… he didn’t call but… I did see him again at the mall in like November of ’06. I was in a shoe store with Baby Glamazon, and I felt like somebody was watching me so I look up and outside the shoe store there was the Freckler staring me down. I quickly look away. 3 minutes later I turn around and he got his freckle-faced ass all up in my personal space.

Freckler: Hi, how you doing?
Me: Fine.
Freckler: What’s your name?
Me: Think fast Ms. Prudish Diva.. He don’t remember you! Tweety.
Freckler: Tweety, how did you get that name?
Me: Cuz I’m yellow
Freckler: Oh. Well nice to meet you, I was wondering if I could have your number, maybe we could go out sometime.
Me: *blank stare* This dude seriously don’t remember me. I have a boyfriend.
Freckler: Ok.
Me: Ok. So why are you still standing here in my face??
Freckler: I mean you can’t have friends?
Me: I don’t need friends.
Freckler: I’m not trying to take you from your man, I just want to be your friend.
Me: Do I look like I want to be your friend? Is that what you’re getting from my facial expression? Well, my boyfriend is very jealous, and I think he would try to kill you for trying to be my friend, and we wouldn’t want that *smile*
Freckler: Well.. alright, you have a good night. It was nice to meet you though.
Me: Mmhmm

So.. I would have thought that was my last time seeing him. But NO…6-7 months later.. I went to the club 2 weeks ago with Big Mama Diva.. I’m chilling in the VIP and somebody walks up and whispers in my ear:

Somebody: Let me get them jeans up off you
I turn around with the quickness and see that it’s Freckler…
Me: What?
Freckler: Can I buy your jeans?
Me: Why?
Freckler: Because they are nice jeans
Me: Well I know that.. That’s kinda why I put them on (The jeans were fly tho… They have these nice beaded pockets.. make my butt and hips look real nice lol)
Freckler: How much you want for them?
Me: Probably too much for you to pay on some girl jeans.
Freckler: I mean I got money (pulls out a wad of cash). How much you want for them?
Me: Well, it’s nice that you have money. You can go to the store and get you own women’s jeans if your into that. I’d rather keep my jeans on though.
Freckler: Is your girl pregnant? *Nods toward Big Mama Diva*
I just burst out laughing.. Now normally… I wouldn’t go for u talking about my girl.. best friend… but that shit was funny.. she looked cute but she do got a gut.. it’s not the most attractive thing.. I’m bigger than she is but her gut is bigger than mine…
Me: You wrong.
Freckler: She’t not pregnant? Because I was going to say ya’ll could stand over there… Not too many people smoke over there.
Me: Yeah right.
Freckler: So can I have your number.
Me: You should already have it.
Freckler: Why?
Me: Because I’ve given it to you before… You’ve tried to talk to me quite a few times.
Freckler: Well I don’t remember.. so I’m trying to talk to you again
So I decided to give it to him.. I mean.. He was dressed nice and he could take me out.. I guess. He made me laugh.. that's good right? He's persistant as hell 2.. He called me a couple days later… trying to see me and I was out of town, so I told him I would call him when I got home.. but I didn’t… then I was in DC at a friend’s house and he’s like “Well I could drive out there to see u”… Nigga if I’m chillin with the friends I dont wanna see u.. and if he cant see me it’ll be “Alright then I’ll talk to you later.”

So he gets the axe because he can’t even have a conversation with me… It’s just “Can I see you? No? Ok then.” WTF is that? We’ll see how he story progresses.. I’ll keep you all posted.